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职场笑话大全

1.星期五工作中,小李竟然趴在电脑前睡觉。领导发现了淡定的说:“同事照顾一下。”女同事天真的脱下大衣,披在睡觉的小李身上。

2.员工五怕:一怕上班迟到,二怕领导问答,三怕工资不涨,四怕假期全无,五怕加班无薪。领导五笑:一笑上班无事,二笑责任很少,三笑收入很多,四笑公费度假,五笑关系上下搞得好。

3.工作是苦是累,我们积极面对,干好职属分内,与同事友好相对,拿到工资问心无愧;花得自在,用得潇洒,别人称赞顶呱呱!

4.公司一哥们儿对财务科的美女会计有意思,一直苦苦追求,一日发工资,故意将工资落在会计桌上,美女会计对要出门的他说:“你的工资!”这哥们儿回头一笑:“不,是你的工资!”

5.豪华轿车上载着一个大老板。经过一个治安不好的地段时,怕死的老板开口对司机说:最近治安不好,绑票案很多,我们调换一下,你坐后面当老板,我来当司机。

6.我想就这样拿着工资卡不放开,上班能不能永远轻松一直发呆,我想去马尔代夫,我想去巴塞罗那,想这样没担忧,开了钱,就去玩!

7.上班就像灰太狼,不是学习就是抓羊。抓到小羊送领导,啥时候羊肉咱能尝!若无收获咱受过,扣完奖金扣饭钱,那怎么来过活!哎,上班不容易啊!

8.上班就快要迟到,起床就往楼下跑;手里拿着大面包,兜里揣着刮胡刀;踉踉跄跄坐上车,心想终于没事了;转眼到了办公室,房门上锁进不去。这是为何?原来是周末!

9.职场经验:1、在开会的时候,我们应该保持肃静,打扰别人睡觉是不对的。2、在接见领导的时候,不要剃光头,避免领导说你和他比聪明,3、遇见女上司要夸她生的伟大,卑职愿死在你的腿下。

10.一MM走进办公室,看到财务(男的)在数着一沓一沓的钞票,不禁脸红耳热,“XXX,我爱你...”。财务听了大吃一惊,同时十分高兴。“的钱。”

11.悠悠职场,同事相看两茫茫,对着工资百般思量,那么多加班愁断肠,辛苦心酸难度量,心中曲折迷真章,只愿你能比我多看到骄阳!

12.一天,一同事无事可做,就拿着磁铁在手里玩。被领导看见了,伸手来拿。只听“啪”的一声,磁铁吸在了领导的戒指上,领导好尴尬的离开了。

13.一小孩闯进了一家公司,在公司里大喊大叫,一老板看见了说:这是谁家的孩子,怎么这么没礼貌,带我找你爸去。这时小孩抬起头望着天说:爸,下面有人找你!

14.领导看着漂亮的女秘书说:“我中午请人吃饭?”女秘书说:“改日吧,晚上。”领导没明白,笑了一下道:“太直接了吧,好,真爽快。”

15.同事嫌你承担少,老板嫌你干活少,老婆嫌你赚钱少,朋友嫌你请客少,父母嫌你回家少,工作你在第一线,生活当中你最累,愿工作在第一线的你开心快乐常相伴。

16.工作中有位MM有问题搞不定找同事帮忙,同事太忙随便看了看就说搞不定,她就找到主管撒娇道:总管别搞我了,他们都搞不定,我怎么搞啊?同事们爆笑。

17.为了你,我染上了疯狂;为了你,我变成了机器;为了你,我开始慢慢变老。我是为工作而活,还是靠工作来生活。工作,不容易啊!

18.想轻松工作,请放开生活,想开心生活,请放开拼搏,想不用拼搏,除非你是石头,不用吃喝,今天太累,还是要去工作,不然方便面也买不起了!

19.小马累了,见老板外出赶紧找地方坐下打瞌睡。一会儿后,老板来了,叫醒他:“你难道不知道工作时不能睡觉吗?”小马:“是呀,工作时我没睡呀,我睡时也没做工呀。”

20.唧唧复唧唧,上班打瞌睡,不闻工作事,突闻老板声,问我何所思,问我何所意,我亦无所思,我亦无所意,马上炒鱿鱼,回家织衣去!

21.上班迟到,老板是最不想见的人!上班瞌睡,老板是最可怕的人!连续加班,老板是最可恨的人!被扣奖金,老板是最可咒的人!节日放假,老板是最快忘掉的人!所以,老板就是老是板着脸的人!

22.为了你,我染上了疯狂;为了你,我变成了机器;为了你,我开始慢慢变老。我是为工作而活,还是靠工作来生活。工作,不容易啊!

23.悠悠职场,同事相看两茫茫,对着工资百般思量,那么多加班愁断肠,辛苦心酸难度量,心中曲折迷真章,只愿你能比我多看到骄阳!


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